It is KILLING me.

When someone messes with my kids, out comes my Mama Bear!  Two weeks ago Caleb told me that there was a boy at school that constantly rubs his buzz cut and harrasses him.  I know how much fun it is to rub a buzz cut, but no matter where Caleb is in line, the boy cuts in behind him and gets all up in his hair.  Caleb has told him repeatedly to stop; he moves to the back of the line, he tries to get away, but the boy follows him with tormenting hands.

 

There are so many layers to the story…  Caleb is the happiest kid on the planet.  He always has a huge smile and a jovial hug for everyone, and he loves to tell people (especially Aunt Carol) that they are cute.  He is also the youngest and smallest boy in his class and is still developing his Spanish communication skills. 

As a teacher, I know it is better for kids to handle these situations themselves.  Moms that constantly run to the teacher for every little issue are not only an annoyance, but they loose their street cred fast - kind of like the boy who cried wolf.  Caleb has only been in school a month, so I am hesitant to start bringing up concerns. 

As a mom, it physically and mentally PAINS me to hear these stories.  I want to smack the s*** out of little nasty kid. 

So at home, we have been coaching Caleb on how to handle the bully.  We have given him the Spanish words to tell the kid to stop, and we have practiced with him repeatedly.  We have talked about tone and force and how to clearly make your point.

It has not helped.  On Tuesday, after a week and a half of this, I was ready to go to the teacher but still wondering what else I could do.  Grandpa Dave and Gloria were listening to the stories over lunch when Grandpa Dave said, “Listen Caleb.  Here’s what you do.”  When Grandpa Dave says those words, everyone in the family perks up, because you never know what kind of crazy, awesome, radical, ingenious, or insane idea will come out of his mouth. 

Grandpa Dave announced, “The next time the kid touches your hair, you tell him that he owes you five pesos!”

We all started cracking up!  Caleb loved the idea, and we all hoped it would stop the bully in his tracks.  With a huge smile, we taught him how to say the words, ask for the money and confront the bully.  He was also very willing to let the kid rub his head, if he got paid five pesos. 

With a smile of glee, Caleb jumped in the car and returned to school for the afternoon, empowered with his new trick.  We practiced on the drive, “Si tocas me pelo, dar me cinco pesos!” 

At the end of the day, we asked how it went.  The boy still rumpled his little buzz cut, but he was caught off guard when Caleb asked for the money.  Things seemed better, but Caleb was a little saddened that he didn’t actually get the money.

I wish this story had a happy ending, but that hasn’t happened yet.  The next day, the problems got worse, and the boy started slapping Caleb in the chest in addition to putting his hands all over his head and tickling him.  It got to the point where Caleb told him, “If you keep doing that, I am going to cry!”  That tears my Mama Bear heart in half. 

Again we went through a round of family discussions.  Carmela was ready to give the kid a personal whooping, and we considered that, but in the end I resolved to contact the teacher.  I sent her a WhatsApp text this morning, and she was kind and responsive.  We’ll see how it goes. 

Why is this so hard as a mom??  I think about it at night as I am falling asleep; I imagine sticking my foot out and tripping the boy, the things that go through my head…  Sometimes it is hard to control that Mama Bear instinct. 

The amazing thing that even though Caleb is clearly bothered by this, he is still happy.  He still wants to go to school.  He still has smiles and hugs for everyone.  I love that kid – WAY TOO MUCH!