Figuring Out a New Normal

The atrophy is pronounced
above my left ear.

Sometimes at night as I am falling asleep, I gently explore my shaved head and carefully trace the exposed part of my brain.  The oblong circle passes above my left ear, half a centimeter from my left eye, and up and around and back to the tip of my ear.  If I leave my fingers on the gap I can feel blood pulsing through my brain.  It is weird.  I reflect and try to grasp when this become my new normal, and how long will this be my new normal?

I am still working out what my new normal is and how it will evolve through time.  Right now, there are so many things I can't do... drive, lift my left arm, run, yoga, get dressed easily, tie my shoes, manage my personal hygiene to the level I would like 😁  the list goes on...

I wonder if I will go back to running or if I will find another outlet for my energy.  I know my body will always display the evidence, but I wonder if my activities will enjoy a full recovery or if they will remain scarred and altered.  What will normal look like a year from now? 

For the last four years, my daily morning runs were not just a time for my physical body, but also my hour for prayer and mediation.  I have a litany of prayers I say each day, and 60 minutes was the perfect amount of time.  The prayers don't actually take that long, but when trying to keep my wandering mind focused, I always need an hour.  So although I don't remember it, chances are good that I was praying at the exact moment I was hit by the car driven by Jesus (sorry, I can't help it, it totally cracks me up every time I say it).  That thought brings me peace.

The last prayer in my litany is for my family, and near the end I ask God that we have the "Wisdom, the Strength, the Courage, and the Knowledge to know God's will and follow God's will every day of our lives."

I have to laugh because if this "New Normal" is God's will, it is not exactly what I had in mind when I said that prayer prior to getting hit.  I was hoping for something more along the lines of an exotic and interesting volunteer opportunity...  HA!

I to enjoy the blessings that I have.  I thank God that my brain under the thin piece of skin is intact and healthy.  I am grateful that I can walk.  I put my trust in God and find peace.