The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good – I am overwhelmed and unbelievable grateful for the kindness, support, generosity, and love sent from friends and through the YouCaring site to help our family.  The messages of love and strength brought tears to my eyes and filled me with so much gratitude.  Y'all have reached out in so many ways, from assisting with medical advice, our children, navigating insurance companies, supporting my parents in Puerto Madryn, praying...  I can not thank you enough.  What an amazing gift.  It has also been hugely helpful financially. My first round of bills was over 40K, and we had to pay out of pocket.  It is a huge hit – so thank you friends for covering half of it!!!  Wow! 

Another good - I am so thankful for my faith.  I gave this whole situation over to the Lord.  The outcome is up to Him.  Please, please continue to pray for us.  I have many more hurdles to master. 

The Bad – After getting released from the hospital on Saturday the 25^th, I ended up feeling ill, feverish, and within a short time, I was vomiting every two hours.  I don’t know where all the vomit came from.  I ate a small pile of lentils and rice and proceeded to throw-up that same pile for 12 hours.  This also meant going right back to the hospital.  The hospitals have saved my life, but they also come with many discomforts that I was unaware of prior to this experience.  

For example:

Brain surgery stitches

1  1.    Doing all your bathroom business IN BED in a plastic tray.  That is just weird, it sucks, someone wipes your butt, it is awful.

2  2.  Strange things happen at strange times…  the floors get buffed at 1:30 in the morning with the loudest machine imaginable.

3  3.  Doctors and nurses have parties in the ICU with little kids at 4:30 in the morning right outside your room.

4  4. Cold baths can happen at anytime - especially in the middle of the night.  You are jolted awake with a bucket of cold water being dumped and rubbed all over you.  Then it is time to change the bedding which got soaked throughout the process. 

5  5. Medications are administered, your temperature is taken, blood pressure squeezed out of you – once or twice every night despite your best efforts to sleep.  This is probably a good thing, but it sucks. 

    6.  Oh the pain in the ass.  Literally.  After a week stuck in bed, my butt hurts so badly.  Now I understand what bed sores are.  Shockingly painful.  It is like sharp nerve jolts to your ass. 

7  7.  I can’t leave out the constipation.  I can't move much and I eat and eat, my gosh, my belly has grown and gotten hard as a brick.

Shoulder surgery staples

8  8. The pain – that is something new to get used to.  Living in a lot of pain.  My shoulder is a wreck of pain from the surgery.  My brain feels constantly plugged – like I need to pop my ears, but I can’t.  Bed butt sores.  Shoulder blade muscle tightness…  And then there is the constant battery of body tests - blood samples several times a day, electrode hook ups, blood pressure to the extreme, and mountains of hair being ripped out of my arm from tapings.

9  9. And last but not least, I am scratchy.  I haven’t had a proper shower or bath since all of this started and I am a wreck of dead skin, dandruff, scabs, and itches.  Sometimes I just lay in bed and scratch and scratch and scratch.  It feels so good, but it never goes away.  Raza raza raza…

The Ugly -  I am embracing the ugly.  It means I am alive.  After 1/3 of my head was shaved for the brain surgery, the rest of my hair was left in a rat’s nest.  By the time I woke up, I was sporting the first dreadlock of my life.  It was giant.  I couldn’t wait to be rid of it – despite Carmela and Sofia telling me it was cool, and that I looked like their yoga silks teacher.  During my few hours out of the hospital I begged Adam to cut my hair off.  My dad and Aunt Carol accepted the challenge of finding scissors in the city and within 30 minutes they were successful, and Adam chopped off a carcass in one solid piece from my head.  It was amazing.  There are lots of ugly things I still deal with.  My left eye is smaller and lower than my right.  My left temple is bulging with brain pressure. My right arm is covered in track marks, bruises and now has a semi-permanent port.  My left shoulder is swollen and immovable.  It has to remain in a sling 24/7 for the next 4-6 weeks.  Enjoy a small sampling of  the ugly pictures!